When Fairy Tale Birth Plans Meet Real Life: Coping With “Body Fails” as a Parent
Raise your hand if you had a “birth plan” that, in reality, would make even the most seasoned nurse roll their eyes! White twinkle lights, essential oils, beautiful playlist… and definitely NOT a c-section, preeclampsia, or a month of NICU. Sound familiar? Even the best-laid plans can run headfirst into the great unknown—and if you’re a parent feeling like your body “failed” you during pregnancy, birth, or postpartum, hi there. Pull up a chair. Let’s talk about it.
When Your Body Writes Its Own Story
I don’t have to tell you that those nine months (or maybe a little bit less, as Kelly Parker in The Real Family Eats podcast episode so honestly shared) often don’t go the way we’d spent years reading about or daydreaming over. Maybe your body didn’t perform the way you wanted it to, or you spent every day grateful—until suddenly, you were speeding down a highway of “worst case scenarios.” You might be familiar with that pit-in-your-stomach, the self-blame, or the ache of seeing other families seemingly waltzing out of the hospital, healthy babe snuggled in their arms, while you line up for the NICU with your keycard and a heart full of fear.
Sound achingly familiar? Welcome to the club no one wanted to join. But as Kelly so bravely explained, the separation anxiety from your baby, the sense of unfairness, and the grief over a lost “normal” can take up root as real, tangible struggles in your body and marriage—long after the hospital bracelets come off.
I’m Supposed to Feel Grateful…So Why Do I Feel So Alone?
Can we cut through the “shoulds” for a second? You hear: “You should just be grateful the baby is here.” And inside, all you feel is a swirl of sadness, frustration, or even a strange kind of anger. The truth (and Kelly Parker, a marriage and family therapist herself, says it beautifully): this is grief. This is trauma. And—here’s the kicker—what happens to one parent, happens to the relationship. When your partner is riding their own rollercoaster, that’s a lot of feelings left bouncing around the house. For many, this can be the spark for distance, resentment, or the “roommate” phase nobody warns you about.
The Real Parenting Secret? Not Doing This Alone
Sure, you can devote hours to searching the internet for resources. But if you’re reading this, let’s skip right to the good stuff: You and your partner can actually use this challenge to be the thing that draws you closer instead of apart. (I can hear you: “Sure, in a fairytale!” I promise, it is possible.)
Enter: Bringing Baby Home Workshops at Embrace Renewal Therapy & Wellness Collective.
It’s not just “baby care 101.” It’s dedicated, judgement-free space for you and your partner to talk about the actual storm that blew you off course (preeclampsia, NICU, birth trauma, or just the crash of expectations). You’ll get expert guidance, practical skills, and fresh ways to support each other emotionally—because healthy parents make healthy couples, and healthy couples make healthy families. If you’ve ever longed for someone to just “get it” and give you the tools and space to work through it together, this is it.
Ready to Drop the Guilt and Write Your Own Family Story?
Kelly’s story reminds us: setbacks, “body fails,” and feeling like an outsider in your own birth story are, heartbreakingly, normal. But you don’t have to stay stuck in your grief or resentment. The first step? Invest in your own wellness and your relationship’s wellness. Not only will it help you both make sense of your journey, but you’ll be building resilience for whatever comes next (spoiler: more curveballs!).
Let’s make room in your family for healing, humor, and hope—together. Click [here] to sign up for our Bringing Baby Home Workshop at Embrace Renewal Therapy & Wellness Collective, or reach out to see if couples therapy or a couples intensive is a good fit for you and your partner.
You’re not alone. And together, you just might be stronger than you think.
P.S. Want a little more real talk, plus a delicious seven layer bar recipe? Listen to Kelly Parker’s full story on The Real Family Eats podcast! And check our site for more resources and support.
