Medical Complications and Mom Guilt: Why You’re Still Enough
Motherhood isn’t always the idyllic experience many envision—it can be heartbreakingly hard when medical challenges arise.
In Mom’s Guide to Finding Herself, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Reesa Morala, MA, LMFT, shares a deeply honest conversation about how medical complications can stir up feelings of shame, inadequacy, and fear.
When Expectations Collide With Reality
Reesa reflects on her own journey through health crises, recounting moments where she felt invisible, dismissed, or inadequate. Society paints an unrealistic picture of motherhood: glowing mothers, endless patience, and seamless recovery. The reality for many women includes sleepless nights, physical complications, and overwhelming self-doubt.
Medical challenges only amplify these struggles. When providers minimize symptoms or families fail to fully understand, mothers often internalize guilt and shame. They may begin to believe they’ve fallen short or are somehow failing their children. Reesa pushes back against these damaging beliefs, reminding mothers that their worth is not measured by how well their bodies perform but by the love, presence, and resilience they bring to their families.
Reframing Your Inner Narrative
One of the most powerful tools Reesa offers is reframing. Instead of defining yourself by what you cannot do, focus on what you are doing—showing up in the face of difficulty, advocating for yourself, and giving love even in imperfect circumstances.
This shift in perspective allows mothers to move from shame to empowerment. It doesn’t erase the struggle, but it reduces its power. Reesa emphasizes that being a “good mom” isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection, presence, and the courage to keep going.
The Role of Community
Healing rarely happens in isolation. Reesa encourages mothers to seek support in whatever form feels most accessible—trusted friends, support groups, therapy, or honest conversations with medical providers who listen and validate.
Community creates a sense of shared humanity. When mothers hear stories of others facing similar medical or emotional challenges, they realize they are not broken—they are simply human. Support networks remind mothers that they are not walking this path alone and that their struggles are valid.
Permission for Vulnerability
In a culture that often praises mothers for being endlessly strong, Reesa advocates for vulnerability as a form of strength. Naming what feels overwhelming, disappointing, or unfair creates space for healing. Vulnerability also allows others to step in and offer care.
Children, too, benefit from witnessing authentic emotional expression. When parents model honesty about hard moments while still moving forward, kids learn resilience and empathy. Vulnerability, far from being weakness, becomes a gift to both self and family.
Key Takeaways for Parents
Shame doesn’t speak truth. Facing medical complications does not equal failure.
Reframe your identity. Your worth is rooted in your love and actions, not circumstances.
Seek support, not isolation. Community, therapy, or honest dialogue lightens the burden.
Small moments of self-validation matter. Honor your courage and resilience daily.
Vulnerability builds strength. Naming what’s hard creates healing and connection.
Self-compassion is essential. It lays the foundation for your well-being and your family’s.
A Message of Hope
Reesa’s story and insights serve as a lifeline for mothers who feel unseen in their struggles. Medical challenges may alter expectations, but they do not diminish worth. Every act of showing up, every expression of love, and every choice to keep moving forward reflects true strength.
This episode is a reminder that motherhood is not defined by perfection—it is defined by intention, presence, and the resilience to keep loving, even when the journey looks different than imagined.
If you’re in Murrieta, CA or anywhere across California, learn more about my parenting therapy intensives and parenting classes for more support.
