Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish
It’s the Start of Genuine Connection
Let’s talk about a word that makes many parents squirm: selfish. If you’re invested in your kids, your partner, and everyone else’s well-being, I’d bet you’ve heard that little inner voice (or even judgment from others) warning you that prioritizing your own needs might just earn you that scarlet “S.” Sound familiar?
What would it feel like, though, to give yourself permission to put your wellness first? In a recent episode of The Real Family Eats, guest Tiffany O’Hearn shared her journey through divorce, parenting, and, most importantly, rediscovering herself. She put words to a fear that weighs heavy on so many: If I choose myself, am I a bad parent? Am I failing my family?
You’re Not Alone. Every Parent Has Faced This Crossroad
If you’ve reached a point where something in your partnership or family life isn’t working, you may feel stuck between wanting to do what’s “right” for your children and feeling the weight of your own unmet needs. Tiffany’s words stood out: “Sometimes wanting something different isn’t enough to actually get something different.” When she realized she was modeling self-sacrifice (and self-forgetting) for her daughter, her choice became clear: It was time to do the scary work of coming home to herself.
What does that mean, exactly? In therapy and in parenting, it’s all too easy to put others' feelings, growth, and goals at the center, while leaving your own outside the circle. “When we dismiss ourselves, when we don’t make time for self care, we’re actually taking from our own cup,” Tiffany explained. “Therefore, we don’t even have enough to give to our children authentically.”
For most of us, especially for parents juggling the demands of modern family life, that message feels revolutionary.
Investing in Relationship Wellness (and Why It’s NOT Selfish)
Here’s the truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup. At Embrace Renewal Therapy, we support parents and couples investing in their own wellness and relationship wellness, because one truly can’t thrive without the other. When you show your children what it looks like to set boundaries, apologize, model respect, and ask for what you need, you’re teaching them resilience, empathy, and self-worth in the most powerful way: by example.
But how do you put this into action? Tiffany’s approach was simple, human, and full of grace:
Practice self-compassion. Allow yourself to recognize when things aren’t working and seek support, whether from therapy, a supportive community, or quiet moments in nature.
Model imperfection. Apologize when you fall short. “If we can apologize to our kids, we are modeling for them unconditional love,” Tiffany said.
Invest in learning together. Relationship, parenting, or couples workshops give couples and co-parents tools to engage with each other more intentionally—building that space for growth, even through hard moments.
Are You Ready to Put Yourself and Your Relationship First?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or just ready for something different, you don’t have to go it alone. Our practice specializes in supporting parents and couples exactly where you are in the real, unfiltered day-to-day, no matter what your family structure or story.
We offer:
Couples workshops to deepen connection and improve communication.
Parenting workshops to support both parental and couple wellness.
Newborn baby couples workshops to help couples transition into parenthood with strength and unity.
Couples therapy intensives and ongoing couples therapy for when you’re ready to go deeper.
Remember, prioritizing yourself isn’t about “taking away” from your family. It’s about fueling the love and connection that everyone in your home deserves. As Tiffany shared, “We are modeling for our children all of the time. We teach by example.” When you choose to invest in your own well-being and growth, your children don’t just benefit - they learn how to do the same.
Ready to take the next step for yourself and your family? Reach out to us at Embrace Renewal Therapy and see how investing in your well-being transforms everything from the inside out.
