Reparenting While Parenting?
Yes, It’s Really a Thing.
If you’ve ever found yourself standing in the kitchen, covered in flour, halfway through baking banana bread, pondering if you’re actually parenting your kids or maybe, just maybe, parenting yourself for the first time - well, you’re not alone.
In a recent episode of “The Real Family Eats" where John Bacon Gilbert, a licensed marriage and family therapist (and banana bread enthusiast), shared his honest, sometimes heartbreaking, and ultimately redemptive journey as a single dad. As I chopped overripe bananas for my own attempt at Gram Gram’s recipe, I couldn’t help but nod along to so many of his revelations.
What does it really mean to “reparent” yourself while you’re busy parenting your own child? And, (here’s the question therapists always love to ask), what does this have to do with the way we show up in our adult relationships, especially with our partners?
The Invisible Work Parents Carry
Let’s be real for a minute. Parenting is hard. But parenting in a way that is intentionally different from what you experienced as a child? That’s Olympic-level emotional gymnastics. John spoke about how his own upbringing, one filled with attempts to connect with a father who simply didn’t understand him, shaped his earliest years of parenthood. Like many of us, John found himself recreating some of those old patterns, even as he swore he would do things differently.
He wanted to throw the glove, literally and figuratively. He wanted to connect, to provide, to be everything his own parent hadn’t been. And then…the big lesson. His son, after years of playing Little League, finally told him, “Dad, I don’t like baseball. You do.” Ouch. Been there? I sure have.
This is where reparenting gets real. Our best intentions sometimes lead us to repeat patterns, not out of any lack of love, but simply because we don’t have a new playbook. It’s the invisible work we carry as parents: recognizing old wounds, owning our growth, and consciously choosing to do things differently, sometimes with therapy, often with humility, and occasionally with brown sugar sprinkled on top.
Why This Matters for Your Relationship
Now, here’s where I’m going to pivot from banana bread to relationships. Because, as John and “The Real Family Eats” so beautifully illustrate, how we were parented, and how we parent ourselves, directly informs the way we show up with our partners.
Let’s be honest. Are you finding that the old stories (“I’m not worth it,” “I have to do it all alone,” “Don’t ask for help!”) are stowing away in your marriage or partnership? Maybe they sneak into arguments over bedtime routines, or appear when you crave more connection with your partner but don’t quite know how to ask.
This is where we, as a couples therapy practice, come in. At Embrace Renewal Therapy & Wellness Collective, we know that parents don’t just need a new discipline hack or another Pinterest recipe (although, who can resist a good banana bread?). We need safe, supportive spaces to do the work of reparenting - together.
Why Our Couples Workshops Are the Secret Ingredient
Yes, therapy for couples exists, even if you aren’t fighting. And for parents especially, our Couples Workshops are designed with your unique challenges in mind.
Workshop highlights:
Space to explore and rewrite those old stories that shape the way you parent and partner
Communication tools to connect on a deeper, more meaningful level (especially when you’re both running on caffeine and little sleep)
Shared exercises (no, not just trust falls) to strengthen your partnership while you parent your kids
Support from other parents who are on the same messy, beautiful journey
Imagine bringing the same curiosity you reserve for your child’s Lego creations to your partner’s inner world. Imagine feeling seen, supported, and, dare we say, renewed.
Because You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup (or Bread Pan)
If you’re tired of feeling stuck in old patterns, longing for real connection at home, and ready to invest in your relationship wellness, consider this your warm invitation. (Extra banana bread if you needed the sign.)
Ready to try on a new playbook? Our next Couples Workshop was designed for parents—like you—who want to turn insight into action, together.
And hey, if you want more honest parenting stories and warm kitchen wisdom, catch “The Real Family Eats” podcast for your next listening binge.
Take care of your heart, your home, and your hula hoop.
Connect with us today to reserve your spot in our next Couples Workshop and take the next step on your reparenting and relationship wellness journey.
You deserve it.
