Grief Share: Jason Tuttle on Parenting, Therapy, and Healing
In this powerful episode of The Real Family Eats, host Reesa sits down with Jason Tuttle, a devoted father who courageously grief shares his journey of parenting medically fragile children, processing immense loss, and Letters to Zachary. He opens up about the reality of grief and healing, plus his go-to comfort food—Betsy’s Black Bean Chili.
Jason Tuttle’s Grief Share
Hosted by: Reesa Morala, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
On this episode of The Real Family Eats, Jason Tuttle readily introduces himself as a married father celebrating 21 years, whose introduction to parenthood quickly catapulted him and his wife into the world of special needs and medically fragile children as he shares his grief, his stages through grief, and how they found resilience. Within the first five years of their marriage, both of his children were diagnosed with severe neurological delays, epilepsy, were non-verbal, and largely wheelchair-bound. Added to this was his son’s rare diagnosis of Eagle Barrett syndrome (also known as prune belly syndrome), making their parenting journey markedly different from the typical experience.
Jason candidly shares the overwhelming process of diagnoses, medical interventions, and daily life adjustments, from specialist appointments and surgeries to round-the-clock respiratory monitoring and emergency medical responses. He doesn’t shy away from describing the deep emotional toll this life takes on parents, revealing his own struggles with grief, anger, anxiety, and years-long sleep deprivation.
Grieving the Life “We Thought We’d Have”
One of the episode’s most heartrending themes is the concept of grief within parenting, beyond just the loss of a loved one. Jason details how, even before his son’s passing, there was an ongoing, often overlooked mourning of the life he had pictured; a life of typical milestones and carefree family outings. Instead, milestones were missed, surprises were replaced by medical crises, and social isolation became part of their reality.
This part of the conversation will greatly resonate with listeners seeking answers to questions like:
“How do you cope when parenting doesn’t look the way you imagined?”
“What is anticipatory grief and how can families work through it?”
“How do you process the grief of missed milestones?”
Jason’s story validates these overlooked aspects of special needs parenthood and challenges the societal silence around such grief, paving the way for more open, healing dialogue.
Practical Support and Mental Health
Jason is honest about the lack of emotional tools most people have for handling such profound stress. He describes years of “muscling through” immense sleep loss, relentless worry, and constant readiness for medical emergencies. He shares how his own mental health struggles, including depression, anxiety, and undiagnosed ADHD intersected with the unique stressors of his family’s reality.
Importantly, he doesn’t sugarcoat moments when his mental health and coping mechanisms affected his family relationships—particularly his marriage, which endured conflict and required support outside the home. His journey ultimately led him to therapy, where he began working through anger and grief, and found healthier ways to manage emotions.
From Pain to Purpose: Letters to Zachary
After the sudden passing of his son Zachary, Jason struggled to navigate the space grief left in his life. Guided by his therapist’s advice, he found solace in journaling, eventually founding the online platform Letters to Zachary - a legacy project dedicated to honoring his son and helping others in the grief and special needs community.
Jason’s letters - unfiltered, raw narratives about loss, love, and healing have resonated deeply with countless families, particularly fathers who often feel isolated in these experiences. He has expanded the community to Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and launched a professional website offering grief resources, journal entries, and even a coloring book designed for families enduring similar struggles.
Key Takeaways from the Episode
1. The special needs parenting journey can be unexpectedly isolating and overwhelming.
Families often experience a unique kind of grief, for both the loss of a child and the life they imagined. Recognizing and giving space to this “hidden grief” is crucial for healing.
2. Mental health support is essential.
Caregivers should seek regular counseling, therapy, and accept help, even when self-reliance feels most natural.
3. Simple, flexible routines—like easy recipes—can bring relief and comfort.
Amid the chaos, accessible meals can help restore normalcy and joy to family life.
4. Grief does not end after loss—it transforms.
Jason’s honest depiction of the aftermath of child loss, the immediate shock, anger, and eventual purpose, helps illuminate a path forward.
5. There is value in sharing your story—especially for fathers.
Breaking social stereotypes around masculine expression, Jason’s vulnerability has empowered many others in similar circumstances.
6. Community and creative outlets can foster healing.
Platforms like Letters to Zachary prove how writing, art, and social media can support other grieving families.
Simple Chili Recipe for Busy Parents
Not every moment in the episode is heavy. Jason shares a beloved, simplistic recipe—Betsy’s Black Bean Chili—tailored for parents living with complexity but craving ease. The recipe requires few ingredients (ground round, black beans, tomato sauce, salsa, and chili seasoning), is budget-friendly, and allows flexibility with spice for sensitive diets.
Jason reveals his motivations—after years of learning complicated medical routines, he seeks out simplicity in the kitchen. The recipe’s flexible nature also honored his son's love for spicy flavors and stands as a comforting staple in his family's home.
Betsy's Black Bean Chili
1 pound ground round
2 (15 ounce) cans no-salt-added black beans
2 (8 ounce) cans no-salt-added tomato sauce
1 (8 ounce) jar salsa, or to taste
1 tablespoon chili seasoning mix
Step 1
Heat a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir beef in the hot skillet until browned and crumbly, 5 to 7 minutes; drain and discard grease.
Step 2
Drain one can of black beans pour into a large pot over medium heat; add second can black beans, tomato sauce, salsa, and chili seasoning mix. Stir cooked ground round into the beans mixture, bring to a simmer, and cook until the flavors blend, 20 to 25 minutes.
Final Thoughts
Listening to Jason T and Reesa’s conversation is more than just hearing one family’s struggle—it’s an invitation to enter the world of special needs parenting, learn about the layers of grief, and discover real, practical resources for healing. Whether you are a parent walking this road, a friend or professional supporting families, or someone hungry for genuine human stories, this episode opens the door to empathy, understanding, and community.
Links & Resources: Find Jason and his work at Letters to Zachary, with resources, journal archives, and social channels available for support.
If you or someone you love is navigating similar struggles, know you’re not alone. Together, we can foster voices and communities of resilience and hope.
If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here!
