When Pregnancy and Parenting Don’t Go As Planned
Caring for Your Relationship After Loss
If you’ve been on this parenting journey for more than a hot minute, you probably already know that the road is anything but straight and smooth. Maybe you saw all those glowing social media photos and Hallmark movie scenes about pregnancy and thought, “That’ll be us! What could go wrong?” And then … life. As I talked to Jillian Cajigas’ story on The Real Family Eats podcast, I was struck by just how real the twists, turns, and gut-punches of family-building can be, and how much more the impact reverberates beyond you - to your relationship, your partner, and your community.
Let’s talk about grief, loss, and the tidal wave of not-what-I-expected
Did you think that pregnancy loss, complicated pregnancies, or hard birth stories only happened to “other people”? You’re not alone! The truth is much closer to home: one in four women will experience a miscarriage, and far more experience some version of the grief, anxiety, confusion, and disconnection that Jillian described so honestly. And while most of us don’t naturally add relationship survival after loss as a baby registry item, it often becomes a central (and stressful!) part of the journey.
So what does all this mean for your relationship?
If you’ve experienced a pregnancy loss, traumatic birth, or even just a really rocky path to parenthood, you might notice:
Every conversation with your partner comes with an undercurrent of “what if...?”
You’re both grieving, but in entirely different ways (and maybe not talking about it)
Silent “shoulds,” guilt, and self-blame show up like unwanted houseguests
Simple self-care feels out of reach, let alone relationship care (Showering? Maybe. Connecting over dinner? LOL.)
Worst of all, there’s an unspoken pressure to “move on” or “get back to normal,” even when everything feels different.
Can you actually get through this together?
Let me say it louder for the folks in the back: you are NOT failing at marriage, partnership, or parenthood if you are struggling to connect after loss or a difficult pregnancy. Pain and grief are relationship experiences. And as Jillian’s story highlights, it’s often the smallest actions: reminding each other you deserve kindness, a meal, or even (gasp) a bubble bath, that start the healing. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, repairing your relationship needs the same kind of attention you’d give to a physical injury or illness.
Why Invest In Couples Therapy After Loss?
Here’s the truth: grief can either build invisible walls or lay the groundwork for deeper connection. If you and your partner are feeling stuck, exhausted, or isolated, couples therapy provides a gentle, structured way to:
Talk openly about grief, anxiety, guilt, or anger (yes, even when it’s at each other)
Rebuild trust - in your body, each other, and the messy miracle of partnership
Learn real communication skills to make space for both partners’ needs (even if they’re wildly different!)
Create new rituals of care (for each other, yourself, and your family)
Move forward, not by forgetting, but by honoring your story and your resilience
You Don’t Have To Do This Alone - We Can Help
At Embrace Renewal Therapy & Wellness Collective, supporting couples after pregnancy loss, infertility, or traumatic birth isn’t a side note - it’s central to what we do. Our Couples Therapy Sessions are designed specifically for parents like you: real people, in real pain, wanting to knit themselves back together (sometimes with snacks, because donuts also heal).
Think of therapy as a spa day for your relationship: focused, nurturing, and all about helping you both feel more connected, less alone, and ready to step into the next chapter, whatever it holds.
Ready For Renewal?
If you’re longing for lightness, relief, and real support as you find your way forward, together, consider reaching out about our Couples Therapy Sessions. Bring your grief, your mess, your hope, and your weird inside jokes. Leave with a stronger partnership, better communication, and a plan for healing that honors every part of your experience.
And if you haven’t already, give the episode with Jillian Cajigas a listen it might just be the beginning of feeling seen, heard, and a little bit lighter on your feet. (Bonus points if you try that Korean beef recipe afterward.)
You deserve care for yourself and for your relationship. Let’s make “renewal” more than just a word.
Looking for more support? Explore our relationship counseling services and couples therapy intensives, or contact us to see how we can walk alongside you. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone. Let’s embrace renewal, together.
