Navigating Parenthood During a Pandemic
Embracing Imperfection and Finding Strength in Unusual Times
Parenthood is often painted as a journey filled with joy, discovery, and profound changes. For Sarina Chan, a marriage and family therapist and proud mom, her journey into motherhood took an unprecedented turn as it coincided with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. In a heartfelt episode of "The Real Family Eats," hosted by Reesa, Sarina shared her story, revealing the challenges and triumphs she faced as a new parent during these unusual times.
Preparing for Parenthood in Uncertain Times
Sarina's story begins at the dawn of 2020, as she approached her third trimester. The world was just beginning to grapple with the realities of the COVID-19 pandemic, and like many, Sarina found her carefully laid birth plans disrupted. From canceled birthing classes to the anxiety-inducing uncertainty of hospital protocols, Sarina and her husband entered this new chapter of life amidst a sea of unknowns.
The couple had been eagerly preparing for their new arrival, signing up for parenting classes to help them navigate the future. Yet, as social distancing measures came into play, these in-person classes turned into virtual ones. "I think what I missed was being in the room with other parents," Sarina reflected. "It felt very much like I didn't want to talk to anyone at that time." This sense of isolation became a recurring theme as the pandemic unfolded.
The Birth Experience: A Snapshot of the Pandemic Era
April 2020 marked Sarina's due date, right as the pandemic tightened its grip on daily life. Her birthing experience was marked by limited hospital visits, unexpected setbacks, and an atmosphere of heightened anxiety. Even as her contractions began, Sarina was sent home, told she was not far enough along. When the time finally came to deliver, strict protocols meant she faced labor with a mask on, and her husband could only join her once things were well underway.
Despite the challenges, Sarina’s perspective on these experiences was enlightening. Reflecting on her labor, she shared, "It was very much a snapshot of, like, the things to come... having to do deep breathing with an N95 mask."
Postpartum Challenges: Anxiety, Isolation, and Growth
The days after bringing her newborn home were equally as challenging. Sarina's baby had jaundice, requiring further hospital treatment under strict protocols. This unexpected event layered more stress upon an already anxious time. "Our anxiety manifested in extreme caution," Sarina explained, detailing their vigilant efforts to protect their family amidst the pandemic.
The pandemic's unavoidable isolation added another layer to Sarina's postpartum experience. "I tended to isolate myself," she admitted, acknowledging the compounded effects of postpartum anxiety intertwined with pandemic fears. Despite being a therapist, she felt the pressures of needing to be the "perfect" parent and partner, admitting, "I'm a therapist. I should know how to make myself feel happier." Yet, with time, Sarina learned to embrace imperfection and offer herself the same grace and compassion she extended to her clients.
Rebuilding and Resilience: Lessons Learned
The path to feeling more grounded came through open communication with her husband, prioritizing self-compassion, and seeking support. Slowly, Sarina and her partner learned to recognize each other as allies rather than adversaries during conflicts. Together, they navigated their new roles, finding strength in moments of vulnerability and humor in chaos.
Sarina's journey is a testament to the resilience and adaptability of new parents. Her advice to herself, and to those navigating similar storms, would have been to remember, "This is temporary, and it's okay to be messy." As Sarina found, acknowledging imperfections and seeking connection, even in isolation, can be empowering steps toward healing.
A Story of Hope and Encouragement
Sarina's experience as a new parent during the COVID-19 pandemic offers valuable insights into embracing life's unpredictability. By sharing her story, she hopes to connect with others who journeyed through similar struggles, reminding them that they're not alone. Her tale is a powerful reminder that, with patience, compassion, and support, families can thrive even in the most challenging circumstances.
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Whether you had to navigate the pandemonium of parenting in a pandemic or trying to survive the transition that is parenthood - you are not alone. This thing called “life” is hard enough, without the toll it takes on your own wellness and the stability of your relationship. If you are needing that support to keep your head above water, look no further. Couples therapy with me is designed to see you in the hard and give you skills to get real relief and change. Contact me today to see what service fits your needs best.
